Read "Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love: Commitments for Mennonites in Times of Disagreement," at <http://peace.mennolink.org/agree.html>, for a strong foundation to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Greet the person in all their experience, remembering the child still present and the individual whom (with God's help) they might become.

Focus on the underlying personal relationship you have with each other as well as on the issue. People are more willing to be vulnerable when they feel respect and kindness.

Take time to hear about the experiences that have brought people to their present attitudes. Listen for fears. Find something to agree with.

Reflect on whether this person is searching, and thus open to new ideas, or merely needing to voice opinions and seeking to feel heard.

Consider which one or two central ideas might open the way for true discussion. Work with questions rather than assertions. Ask only one or two questions.

Watch for your own words that carry baggage rather than information.

Reflect on both the good and the bad points of your own position and humbly point out your own uncertainties and fears. Your vulnerability may open a path.

Consider this a journey you are taking together, rather than a one-time conversation that someone will "win."