Mennonite Church Peace Resources for Youth

I often wonder about what we call "God's grace." Was it grace that allowed me to get a conscientious objector status when I was drafted into the Army in 1969? Was it grace that kept me for going to Vietnam when I graduated from Advanced Individual Training as a medic? Was it grace that was behind the lack of pharmacy assistants at Fort Gordon that kept me from having to ever see a drop of blood as a medic? Was it grace that brought Terry Moretti to the back of the pharmacy one spring day in Augusta, Georgia? I'm not sure.

I was going about my daily work in the back of the pharmacy when I heard a talkative, Italian-American soldier coming back where I worked. It was not a place where most soldiers or their relatives came. Terry needed some strong cough syrup. He was going to be playing his trumpet in a soldier show on the base that evening. My ears perked up. A musical show in the army? Since I had played drums since I was 10 years old, I thought this would be the ideal job in the army.

I asked Terry about the show. He told me it was a touring show that played popular music and show tunes. Soldiers were "recruited" for a four month temporary assignment to play in the band, sing with an ensemble, construct a stage, and do sound and technical work for the show. He said that there would be auditions for the show after the performance that evening. I decided to attend and to audition.

I thought the show was great! Lights, stage, big band music, dancing, singing, costumes. It was a big production. I was a bit nervous playing drums for my audition for the band. The producer, a civilian, said they would get back to me if I made it. I went back to my work in the pharmacy with hopes of being in the soldier show. I wasn't sure I would make it, since there were probably many drummers who auditioned from the army bases in the South. One day I got a call from the Third Army Soldier Show telling me I was accepted as their new drummer! I was ecstatic! Was this God's grace? It sure felt like it.

By God's grace, or sheer luck, my four month temporary assignment to the Third Army Soldier Show turned into a permanent assignment as a drummer with the band. I was re-stationed to Fort McPherson, Augusta, Georgia. While I was away orders for Vietnam came in for me back at Fort Gordon, but they were sent back since I was re-assigned to a new base and company. Was it God's grace that kept me from going to Vietnam as a medic and seeing the horrors of war and possibly dying in the jungle, since the red cross on my helmet would have been a key target of the Vietcong? I'm not sure.

I'm not sure because many years later as a minister of peace and justice I visited the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, D.C. I was emotionally overwhelmed as I walked alongside the names of soldiers who were killed in the Vietnam War carved in black marble. Pretty soon the names engulfed me with their presence. There must have been names of soldiers I had met while I was being trained as a medic, working in the pharmacy, or playing at army bases across the South. Why did they have to die? Why was I spared? The sadness of so many lives lost to war poured from my eyes. And my name was not up there alongside those thousands upon thousands of names. Was it because of God's grace? I'm not sure.

Leo Hartshorn

Minister of Peace and Justice

Mennonite Mission Network