TRYING TO COPE

My work world changed radically Tuesday morning when I realized the news had just broadcast that a second plane careened into the World Trade Towers. My job is to help Mennonite congregations respond to violence, not tragedy. Now I knew I was responsible to ponder responses. I’ve yet to get back to my earlier work deadlines.

I have not coped entirely well with the events. My anger has spilled out against family. I’ve been mechanical and unfeeling at times. I’ve sent too many e-mails. But events have led me to some tasks that have helped me, and in the thought that you also are looking for consolation, I pass them on to you.

Almost immediately I heard a call from God for our congregations to pray. By compiling a worship service from work others were producing, I was given the opportunity to review lamenting, yet consoling, Bible verses and hymns. I organized a long list of prayer requests, giving me a chance to think individually about the many victims of the tragedy. Thus, my work became bathed in my worship of God.

Because our local ecumenical worship service was led by pastors of congregations, I sat in the midst of the community and had the opportunity to weep, rather than concentrate on logistics. This was healing. Being with my church community was comforting beyond words.

I made food for my family. We haven’t much appetite, but showing care and nurture is a gift I needed to give.

I’ve found a great deal of consolation in talking with others whose commitment to nonviolence informs their thoughts and actions. This is a helpful corrective to some of the radio interviews of people on the street and official news conferences. I need the ideas of fellow Christians to reinforce my beliefs.

Turning off the constant barrage from the TV and radio is immediately calming. Hourly news reports are now sufficient.

Receiving e-mails from many of you who are also seeking, praying, composing worship services is incredibly reassuring. Your notes of support have buoyed me. We need each other.

Holding family close matters.

Several times I’ve walked outside. My office is located in my home, so I’ve needed to give the dog a chance to get out of her pen, pick up the mail, etc. Always my eyes have been drawn to the telephone lines in front of our house, and each time a lone dove has been perched there, not always in the same place, but still and watchful. Our God is with us, if we but take the time to notice.

Peace to you all and may God give you rest so you may face the events of your day.

Susan Mark Landis, minister of peace and justice